Posts Tagged ‘funny cufflinks’

How To Tell if She’s Into You

How To Tell if She’s Into You

When you’re talking, does she have a slightly dreamy look in her eyes? Notice the eyes first and foremost. All women, including men, tend to have a dreamy sparkle in their eyes when they encounter someone they are into. It’s just that simple–their eyes light up when they see the person. This can also happen when two people first meet–hence “love at first sight.”

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Does she smile a lot when you two talk? A woman’s natural instinct is to smile more in the presence of a suitor and it says a lot if she seems happier when she’s with you. Laughing is also a good thing too, obviously.

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Does she seem a little fidgety/gulp a little in between words? Women, no matter how confident they may be, tend to gesture and fidget more in the presence of someone they like–basically they get more nervous around someone they are attracted to. This also includes sweating. Oh yes, the dreaded perspiration…but it’s true–when a woman seems little flustered, wet at the hair temple, and swallows in between pauses, chances are she’s either having an anxiety attack or she’s into you.

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Does she initiate meetings or outings? Because of the shifting of the times, it’s not always the men who initiate meetings anymore. If she invites you to parties, out to lunch, coffee, or an after-work cocktail, chances are, it’s not just the caffeine or whiskey she’s craving.

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Does she talk about other men a lot in your presence? Then she’s just not that into you. Women who talk about other men in front of a potential suitor aren’t gaga or head over heels. Unless she’s trying to make you jealous or she’s insecure about herself, chances are, she’s just…not into you.

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6 Things Most Men Don’t Do

What Most Men Don’t Do

There are 6 fairly common things that men seem to skip over in their daily routines, leaving them vulnerable to skin problems, bad hygiene, and poor health. Which one or ones are you guilty of? Here are 6 things to add to your everyday or weekly routine to get your health, looks, and body back in order.

Go to the doctors for regular blood work and check-ups (this includes the dentist): Most men think “I only need to go to the doctors when I’m sick.” This is not the case–especially if you have medical insurance, quite frankly, there’s no excuse not to go. Men need to go to the doctors at least once a year to check their blood (remember, your blood determines your overall physical livelihood). A routine blood work includes checking out your cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, and also looks for potential diseases that can drastically effect your life–you may be pre-diabetic and not know it, you may have high blood pressure and not know it…becoming aware of your ailments helps you take control over your life and prepare for better health. Maybe you should change your diet, cut out sweets all together, or maybe you need antibiotics. Either way, you only have one body, so take care of it.

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Wash their feet with soap:

 

Sorry Gentlemen, but letting the shampoo and/or soap from your hairy chest fall onto the slimy shower floor is not “washing your feet.” Of course we all know that moist areas harbor the most bacteria, so pay extra attention to your feet. Lt. Dan didn’t tell Forrest to change his socks at every stop for nothing! Just like your mother probably reminded you to wash behind your ears, it’s also important to clean your feet appropriately and thoroughly using soap (preferably anti-bacterial soap).

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Regularly change their sheets:

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Dirty sheets harbor bacteria as well, which can ruin your complexion. Especially if you have a lady friend stay over, residue from make-up, hair products, and lotions clog pores and cause break outs. Plus you want to get rid of those microscopic bugs you have around in there (we’re not talking bed bugs either, just regular little dudes), including the dreaded dust mites (oh yeah, they’re there…).

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What are the other three habits most men forget to do??? Check back tomorrow…

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Deciphering the Language of Men

Just like the elusive language of women, men are not excluded from this phenomenon. However it is markedly different by way of meaning. What Men Really Mean When They Say…

I’m hungry.

What it means?

I’m hungry. Make me food.

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Hi. I saw you sitting here. What are you drinking?

What it means?

I’m going to buy you one drink, then I’m going to negotiate my chances of seeing you later in hopefully a more comfortable place. Preferably with food.

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I think I’m gonna go watch the game with the boys this weekend.

What it means?

I want to watch the game.

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Feminism killed chivalry.

What it means?

I’m too lazy to put in work to please a woman.

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I love your new hair cut honey! And that grey eye shadow goes great with your dress.

What it means?

I’m gay. I’m coming out soon. Sorry, you’ll be the first to know.

 

I don’t get the difference between the Chanel bag and a regular bag? It’s almost fascist to buy one.

What it means?

I just don’t get it. Who makes this Chanel thing? I’m just using fascism to hide my cheapness and the fact that there’s no way in hell I’ll ever spend that much for a sack.

 

The only girls that will be there are other wives and girlfriends. I promise! Don’t worry.

What it means?

I’m hoping to get lucky with one of the wives. But if not, the girlfriends will still be there…

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Trust me…

What it means?

Don’t trust me.

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Honestly…

What it means?

I’m forming a lie in my head as we speak…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Deciphering the Language of Women

Ever get confused when some women speak? Ever get the feeling that she’s not really telling the truth? Not really saying what she means? That there’s something more to her short words? Well, when it comes to these “phrases” your intuition could be right. Turns out, sometimes women don’t really mean what they say, or not directly anyways. What she really means when she says…

I really wish I had/I really want/etc.

What it means?

Buy it for me.

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No, I don’t find him attractive. He just reminds me of Dane Cook, that’s all…

What it means?

She does. She does find him attractive, brother man, get a clue.

She’s been your friend for how long?
What it means?

If I EVER catch a glimpse of this girl again, especially around our neighborhood, or hear her name, or so as much see her number across a mobile screen, you’re in trouble. And I mean…both of you.

It’s all about sex, baby. Or so says these little piggies…

But how many people I’ve “been” with is my personal business. Don’t you agree?

What it means?

She quite possibly has been with your brother, best friend, and too many one night stands to count. Or she’s just a feminist. Either way, be leery.

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Oh, but see, I don’t give out my phone number. What’s your email?

What it means?

She’s not that into you. Period. Get her email, forget about her, and move on.

I really shouldn’t have this beer. It’s loaded with carbs. What do you think honey?

What it means?

If you say “you’re right,” you’ll be agreeing that yes, she doesn’t need the carbs and is therefore fat, should go on a diet, possible turn bulimic,  that you don’t love her, that her dress makes her underarm fat look funny, and because beer isn’t on the happy hour list you’d just prefer her to get a mixed drink anyway because it’s cheaper. Proceed with caution. * A bonus response, “Get whatever you like, dear. You deserve it.” End scene.

It’s okay.

What it means?

Depending on the context this either means run for your life, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight, you’re getting it later, or…that it’s just really okay.

I’m hungry.

What it means?

Get up, make me some food, and preferably, do it now because…I’m tired of always waiting around on YOU and cooking your dinners every time your stomach growls.

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I have a headache.

What it means?

You stress me out. Either give me a back rub or leave.

I love those jeans on you babe.

What it means?

He really looks kind of homosexual in those pants but whatever. He can be my “gay friend” for today.

Where’d you get your hair cut this time?

What it means?

What barber screwed up your hair this time and why can’t you ever just TRY to look nice when we go out in public??

 

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A Little This, Little That: 6 Ways to Stay Looking Good

What are six ways to stay looking fresh and maximize your personal appearance? We’ve taken some tips from Askmen.com and put them all together in a grand stew, churned them out, and here we have some top tips for you to mull over:

Tan
And we’re not talking Jersey Shore here men. Just something light and simple, so your blue veins aren’t showing underneath your translucent skin. Try Jergen’s Tinted Moisturizing Lotion that will give you a natural looking tan in about three days. Apply it all over the body after the shower, just lie you would any other lotion, but make sure to thoroughly wash your hands afterwards…if you don’t, you’ll have little orange stains in the crevices of knuckles, in between fingers, etc.

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If you have a big nose, part your hair to one side. Of course this only works if you have long-ish hair or enough to at least part. But parting it to one side minimizes the ultra-symmetrical look that highlights your rather large nose and doesn’t put it in the spot light so readily.

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Grow a beard. It makes a small chin and facial structure look more masculine. (And use facial hair to define a round face)

Wear colors that complement your eyes (i.e. if you have blue eyes, go for light blue shirts. Green…green sweaters, accessories.)

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Chew Whitening Gum after meals. Yes, you heard right. Chewing whitening gum can release/get rid of some of that plaque or grim around teeth after meals. Just make sure it’s sugar-free, because it kind of defeats the purpose if it’s not. And it will add some whitening shine to your 60 watt smile.

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Change your razor blades regularly. All that bacteria builds up between the blades and goes right back on your skin in the next use. Shaving also reduces a minimal top layer of skin, so by adding extra bacteria to that new skin, you’re just asking for trouble. Buy extra packs of blades and switch out every week (or four to eight shaves).

 

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