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Are you over or under parenting your child?

Friday, June 29th, 2012

 

 

 

Are you over or under parenting your child?

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There have been numerous reports throughout the past century regarding the proper parenting techniques. Is it possible to spoil an infant (under 1 yr.)? (The answer is a resounding no.) But what about when the child gets older…can you smother him/her with parental affection and attention? The answer is a resounding yes.

Askmen.com has a new article discussing this issue. In a recent study, results have shown that fathers who don’t try to hard, end up being better parents. You know, the fathers that like to compete with each other, “Oh Tommy’s better at this…I take him here everyday…” Studies have shown that Little Tommy will grow up better with a less worried and stressed father, than an over-protective one trying to keep up with the Jones’ family.

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“Coping With New Parenthood”

“The latest research out of Ohio State University, which appears in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, suggests that parents who feel pressure to be perfect parents can work at cross purposes. Called the “New Parents Project,” this study is one part of a longitudinal look at how working parents cope with new parenthood. The researchers studied 182 couples who became parents between 2008 and 2010, and found that external pressure to be perfect parents affects parenting skills differently than self-directed, internal pressure to be a good parent.

The difference was most striking for fathers. If new fathers were particularly worried about living up to the social ideals of their peer group, they tended to do worse than fathers who put the pressure on themselves. Mothers, on the other hand, showed more parental stress no matter where the pressure came from. One other interesting note is that fathers who responded to self-directed, internal pressure and didn’t give a hoot about keeping up with the Joneses tended to be better fathers. The researchers added that they weren’t sure what the long-term effects on parenting this kind of internal pressure would have, but for newborns it can be a good thing”

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In a recent article published by Psych Central, By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor, Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on November 30, 2011:

“Parents of newborns show poorer adjustment to their new role if they believe society expects them to be “perfect” moms and dads, a new study shows.

While stress upsets each parent, stress influences each parent in different ways. Moms showed less confidence in their parenting abilities and dads felt more stress when they were more worried about what other people thought about their parenting skills.

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However, self-imposed pressure to be perfect was somewhat better for parents, especially for fathers, according to the results.”

Nauert also claims that “Societal-oriented perfectionism is “being concerned about what other people think about your parenting,” Schoppe-Sullivan said. It was measured by asking people how much they agreed with statements like “Most people always expect me to always be an excellent parent.”

So next time you want to coddle your 12 year old son, think again fathers. The trick is to be stress-free, a mean between extremes, and always keep your cool.

The Shame Circle: Weird News

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

The Shame Circle Story Number One: This “party of six” refused to pay the 17% gratuity added to their dinner check. It clearly stated on the menu that any party of five or more would have this gratuity attached–so what did the restaurant do to these low-brow, “I don’t want to tip” folks? Called the police. And they paid. Good for your Fishermen’s Inn! Let this be a lesson, dear patrons, never, ever go into a restaurant and not tip your server.

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See the ridiculous fiasco by clicking on the below: Family Locked in Restaurant After Refusing to Pay Tip Number two: Hehe, only in New Jersey: This orange–ehm tan woman from New Jersey thought it would be a good idea to take her little girl to the…tanning bed. Too much Jersey Shore, perhaps? But the mother, accused of child endangerment, says that her daughter only goes into the room with her and plays, she doesn’t actually get in the tanning bed.
Family locked in restaurant after refusing to… by anatims70

Hilarious Quote of the Week: “I’m in the booth, she’s outside playing Princess, trying to be like Mommy, like barbie dolls and stuff like that.”

I’m sorry lady, Princess…? Barbie dolls like…mommy? Oh goodness, we love strange news.

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Orange ya glad you don’t look like this?

Number Three, Shame on you Kya! On April 26th, the family of an adorable little toddler, captured the following footage of a lioness trying to eat their toddler. Luckily, there was a thick, pane glass window separating the pair but watch as the lioness tries to engulf the baby’s head in her mouth. Must have been the zebra sweatshirt. See, hoodies are controversial even in the animal kingdom world!

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Ways to Ace an Interview and How to Prepare

Thursday, January 19th, 2012

Get to Know the People in the Company. Know their names, occupations, and contributions to the company. Is the CEO from Montreal? Did your prospective superviser go to Stanford? Did he/she raise the company profit over a period of time or introduce a new company standard? The point is to make it seem like you’ve done your homework on the individuals who have contributed to the company. It will give you a one up over the rest if you know that the woman who is interviewing you likes to go water skiing every summer and secretly enjoys a particular author. Don’t stalk the people, just do some quick online research to see what their backgrounds are like. This will also help you prepare for the interview by getting yourself familiar with the personalities of the company.

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Be selective about what you wear. I know, you’ve heard this a million times, but think about the company itself—is it more laid back than formal? Is it high-end or trendy? Does it have to do with fashion or finance? Little touches on your ensemble can make a big difference, be it financial cufflinks or an Oil Derrick Cufflink set. If the company is relaxed and fashion forward make sure you don’t come in wearing a sodden boring brown suit.

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Add some flair, a pop of color like a neck tie or this Daniel Dolce Dark Navy Blue handkerchief. If the company is more formal and traditional, go for a traditional Blue Enamel Knot Cufflinks set.

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Oh you fancy, huh? Show them with a perfect pocket square

Be assertive, friendly, and smile, but not too much. Don’t seem too eager but have ready responses for why you really do want this particular position. Draw on life experiences: if it’s a sales job what’s the highest record you’ve set? Highest profit margin? Why do you like working with the public? Why do you like desk work? Do you have a high concentration level and are detail oriented? Give examples as to how you are this way i.e. SPECIFICS. “I know this may sound off, but I really enjoy crunching numbers and working with figures.” “I can’t seem myself working outside a group setting. My strategy is to use each individual team members’ strength to the projective advantage, thereby increasing the productivity.”

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Work on your nerves, don’t drink to much coffee beforehand. Don’t spray too much cologne or perfume. Have your resume on hand. And another resume on hand, just in case. Memorize your resume. You don’t want to be confused if your prospective employer asks you about something on it that you looked or seem surprised about.

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Have at least one “bad” quality about yourself, but don’t make it too bad. For instance, when/if you’re asked if you have any flaws, answer honestly, but not too honestly. Turn it into a positive. “Because I’m so detailed oriented, I can get particular about certain things, like when lines aren’t straight on documents or when words are misspelled.” “I have a problem when people are disrespectful or uncouth. There’s no reason to be rude, ever.” “I tend to stick up for the underdog.” Or jokingly recite some flaws: “I tend to spend too much on Starbucks coffee.” “My wife says I lack certain table manners, but I think I’m just fine.” Or “I never use my signal when turning. And rarely change my windsheild wipers.” These take the pressure off the interview and bring out your human qualities, which are just as important as your work capacity.