Archive for the ‘Humorous Cufflinks’ Category

Deciphering the Language of Men

Just like the elusive language of women, men are not excluded from this phenomenon. However it is markedly different by way of meaning. What Men Really Mean When They Say…

I’m hungry.

What it means?

I’m hungry. Make me food.

Hot Dog Cufflinks…made out of enamel. Namely, they are not edible.

Hi. I saw you sitting here. What are you drinking?

What it means?

I’m going to buy you one drink, then I’m going to negotiate my chances of seeing you later in hopefully a more comfortable place. Preferably with food.

Corkscrew Cufflinks–not a position, just an accessory

I think I’m gonna go watch the game with the boys this weekend.

What it means?

I want to watch the game.

New York Mets Cufflinks and Money Clip Set

Feminism killed chivalry.

What it means?

I’m too lazy to put in work to please a woman.

Vintage Pistol Cufflinks

I love your new hair cut honey! And that grey eye shadow goes great with your dress.

What it means?

I’m gay. I’m coming out soon. Sorry, you’ll be the first to know.

 

I don’t get the difference between the Chanel bag and a regular bag? It’s almost fascist to buy one.

What it means?

I just don’t get it. Who makes this Chanel thing? I’m just using fascism to hide my cheapness and the fact that there’s no way in hell I’ll ever spend that much for a sack.

 

The only girls that will be there are other wives and girlfriends. I promise! Don’t worry.

What it means?

I’m hoping to get lucky with one of the wives. But if not, the girlfriends will still be there…

Doctor Slogan Cufflinks

Trust me…

What it means?

Don’t trust me.

Simson Yellow Cufflinks, Homer

Honestly…

What it means?

I’m forming a lie in my head as we speak…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Deciphering the Language of Women

Ever get confused when some women speak? Ever get the feeling that she’s not really telling the truth? Not really saying what she means? That there’s something more to her short words? Well, when it comes to these “phrases” your intuition could be right. Turns out, sometimes women don’t really mean what they say, or not directly anyways. What she really means when she says…

I really wish I had/I really want/etc.

What it means?

Buy it for me.

Fender Money Clip

No, I don’t find him attractive. He just reminds me of Dane Cook, that’s all…

What it means?

She does. She does find him attractive, brother man, get a clue.

She’s been your friend for how long?
What it means?

If I EVER catch a glimpse of this girl again, especially around our neighborhood, or hear her name, or so as much see her number across a mobile screen, you’re in trouble. And I mean…both of you.

It’s all about sex, baby. Or so says these little piggies…

But how many people I’ve “been” with is my personal business. Don’t you agree?

What it means?

She quite possibly has been with your brother, best friend, and too many one night stands to count. Or she’s just a feminist. Either way, be leery.

Email Sign Cufflinks

Oh, but see, I don’t give out my phone number. What’s your email?

What it means?

She’s not that into you. Period. Get her email, forget about her, and move on.

I really shouldn’t have this beer. It’s loaded with carbs. What do you think honey?

What it means?

If you say “you’re right,” you’ll be agreeing that yes, she doesn’t need the carbs and is therefore fat, should go on a diet, possible turn bulimic,  that you don’t love her, that her dress makes her underarm fat look funny, and because beer isn’t on the happy hour list you’d just prefer her to get a mixed drink anyway because it’s cheaper. Proceed with caution. * A bonus response, “Get whatever you like, dear. You deserve it.” End scene.

It’s okay.

What it means?

Depending on the context this either means run for your life, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight, you’re getting it later, or…that it’s just really okay.

I’m hungry.

What it means?

Get up, make me some food, and preferably, do it now because…I’m tired of always waiting around on YOU and cooking your dinners every time your stomach growls.

Vintage Hamburger Cufflinks

I have a headache.

What it means?

You stress me out. Either give me a back rub or leave.

I love those jeans on you babe.

What it means?

He really looks kind of homosexual in those pants but whatever. He can be my “gay friend” for today.

Where’d you get your hair cut this time?

What it means?

What barber screwed up your hair this time and why can’t you ever just TRY to look nice when we go out in public??

 

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Top Habits that Improve Your Looks

 

Change your sheets regularly. Dirty sheets lead to facial break outs. It’s quite an obvious tip, but many people don’t bother to change their sheets every other week. The longer that pillow case sits at the head of your bed, the more acne you’ll have by morning…Farah Averill from Askmen.com says the following: “It’s particularly important to lay out some fresh bedding if you frequently have a female in your bed, as residue from women’s makeup and hair products can get left behind on your sheets and subsequently be transferred to your face.”

Even Simon Bolivar had to change his sheets every week (or so). Check out this vintage stamp Oval Cufflinks set

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A Little This, Little That: 6 Ways to Stay Looking Good

What are six ways to stay looking fresh and maximize your personal appearance? We’ve taken some tips from Askmen.com and put them all together in a grand stew, churned them out, and here we have some top tips for you to mull over:

Tan
And we’re not talking Jersey Shore here men. Just something light and simple, so your blue veins aren’t showing underneath your translucent skin. Try Jergen’s Tinted Moisturizing Lotion that will give you a natural looking tan in about three days. Apply it all over the body after the shower, just lie you would any other lotion, but make sure to thoroughly wash your hands afterwards…if you don’t, you’ll have little orange stains in the crevices of knuckles, in between fingers, etc.

if you can’t afford a trip to Bermuda right now, try a tanning bed and these Bermuda 10 Cent Lily Cufflinks

If you have a big nose, part your hair to one side. Of course this only works if you have long-ish hair or enough to at least part. But parting it to one side minimizes the ultra-symmetrical look that highlights your rather large nose and doesn’t put it in the spot light so readily.

Pug Enamel Cufflinks

Grow a beard. It makes a small chin and facial structure look more masculine. (And use facial hair to define a round face)

Wear colors that complement your eyes (i.e. if you have blue eyes, go for light blue shirts. Green…green sweaters, accessories.)

Blue Textured Collared Shirt, Daniel Dolce

Chew Whitening Gum after meals. Yes, you heard right. Chewing whitening gum can release/get rid of some of that plaque or grim around teeth after meals. Just make sure it’s sugar-free, because it kind of defeats the purpose if it’s not. And it will add some whitening shine to your 60 watt smile.

Doctor Slogan Cufflinks

Change your razor blades regularly. All that bacteria builds up between the blades and goes right back on your skin in the next use. Shaving also reduces a minimal top layer of skin, so by adding extra bacteria to that new skin, you’re just asking for trouble. Buy extra packs of blades and switch out every week (or four to eight shaves).

 

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Most Beautiful Women of 2012

 

 

So the morning after Valentine’s Day, you may have woken up, looked to your left or right, and been somewhat disappointed with the looks of the lady next to you. Don’t worry, this happens. Positively normal. All women can’t be spectacularly beautiful, especially when rising with the sun in the early morning hours. The following women have all woken up on the wrong side of the bed, had mascara run down their dimpled cheeks, and alas, also morning breath. BUT they happen to be some of the world’s most beautiful women of 2012. Because, you know, this list changes every year to make room for someone younger, chiseled, and a better lipo job.

“Sexy is a state of mind.”==Miranda Kerr, Victoria Secret Model

No it’s NOT Marilyn Monroe, sorry gentlemen. But you can carry her with you everyday with these vintage-inspired Marilyn Monroe Cufflinks

According to askmen.com and our personal poll of patrons, we’ve come up with the Top Five Most Beautiful Women list. Of course we could’ve made a Top 99 List, but who wants to go through a pointless list of the other 94 possibly-mediocre women? (If you would like to see the other candidates, check out askmen.com and see what they think). So without further ado, let’s start with number 5:

Kate Upton, Sports Illustrated 2012

Blue Fleur di Lis Cufflinks

Askmen.com says: “How does the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue still compete with all of the sexy photo spreads and porn found online these days? By featuring the most gorgeous bikini beauties in the world. And Kate Upton was 2011’s best find. Upton’s classically curvy body and face full of girlish charm make her an easy choice as a breakout model. Even a video of her doing the Dougie at a Clippers game went viral. If she can make the dumbest dance craze in years look sexy, just imagine what else she can do”

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