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Special Edition: What To Get Her for Valentine’s Day

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013
Cufflinksman Speaks…

 

What to get her for Valentine’s Day?

 

Well that depends on what kind of “girl” you have and definitely what kind of relationship you have together. Let’s break down a few of the possibilities:
Just friends, well, kind of…
-Go back to Kindergarten. What exactly does that mean? Think short notes, small flowers, a speck of candy, and maybe a mini monkey bear thing. It just shows “you’re a sweetheart in my book” and “I’ll save extra carrots for you during snack time.”
Teddy Bear Cufflinks

 

She doesn’t know how much you really care, but you actually really do
-Surprise her with a gift card to something you know she loves (like Starbucks?), get her a copy of your favorite book (so she’ll think of you while reading), or burn her a CD of your favorite tunes (same concept here). Tie each with a red ribbon and then go out for a drink with tapas. (It says ‘casual’). Buy her at least two glasses of wine, and then see where the night takes you…

 

You think she’s awesome, but maybe not the “one” you’re going to end up with in the end
-First, please refer to “Friends with Extra Benefits” section. Next mix options “Just friends, kind of” and “Dating for 3+ months.” There you have a perfect match, vis a vie gift anyway…

 

You are hopelessly in love with her
-This is the most complicated category of this entire blog. What to do, what to do…I would normally say, refer to number ____, but that doesn’t mean much. So, it’s time to get real. What does your lady love? Is it the ocean? Is it silence? Is it Wordsworth’s poetry? Is it the 1860s? Perhaps she loves Taye Diggs? Pick at least three of “These are a few of my favorite things…” and come up with something creative. Then slowly incorporate the following examples/scenerios from Dating 3 + Months and more into the mix to make it extra special.

 

Friends with extra benefits
-Something kinky. If you like her, maybe love her, and maybe/maybe not want to blow her brains out, get her something sexy. That doesn’t always constitute lingerie persay, but…it could. Think about your favorite sexcapades: what is normally involved? Hot oil massages? Sex toys? Certain genre of music? Sexual play things? Nothing says, “I love what you do to me,” better than a great sex kit. Try filling a basket with some lub, condoms, sex toys, and something really sexually exotic that neither of you have ever tried. (Stumped for ideas? We can’t write them all here, but we can direct you to your local sex shop/Ricky’s, assuming of course you’re in NYC). Then see where the night takes you. But get really wild/adventurous.

 

Dating for 3+ months
-Think back over the past three months. What have the two of you done together? Think of the most special, cool, romantic, quirky moments and pick an object that stands out from one of those moments. Did you share laughs about some guy’s mustache while ice skating? (Get her a mustache mug, with matching “Ron Swanson” mustaches for the two of you to wear over dinner). Did you tease her while she cried during an episode of Game of Thrones? (Get her the DVD set and a figurine of Jamie Lanister, or whatever his name is). Did you guys experience a ‘moment’ whilst driving and a particular song came on? (Make her a mix tape with tat song and others like it…)

 

Dating for  1 year
-Please refer to “Dating for 3+ Months.” In addition to these ideas, something more substantially materialistic is appropriate too. What is her weakness/superficial loves: bags, shoes, makeup, body care, clothes, scents, accessories, or jewelry? Pick one of these and find her favorites. If she loves bags, find that perfect knapsack you know she’s been eyeing. If she’s a beauty regime type, take a trip to Sephora and pick out a skin care/makeup gift set. If she’s a necklace lover, find a local artisan and have something simple made for her. If she’s a shoe person, go to Bloomingdales and ask a sales rep for help. But if you follow any of these things, also, again, refer to “Dating for 3+ months” for those sentimental kicks too.

 

Dating longer than 2 years/Engaged
-Synthesize advice from “Dating for 3+ Months” and “Dating for 1 year.” Couple that with a momento of your relationsip: a photo gift book (collages of your history together), mix tape of your favorite songs, poetry (what, what?), and/or some other romantic set-up that showcases your time together.

 

Newly Weds
-Again, going along with the previous three models, pick something from there, and then get a memento of your courtship. A series of professional pictures, a beauty session together, a travel package (even to your local hotel/bed and breakfast), and set it up with small mementos of your inner personal relationship.

 

Old school couple/partners
Get her something that you know she’s been wanting, and no, that doesn’t include a new toaster. If you know she loves a particular scent, get her a nice perfume that exemplifies that. If you know she loves turquoise, get her a brooch or local-artisan ring featuring a turquoise stone. If she’s religious, buy her a nice rosary made from blessed stones, a Quran from a local bookshop, homemade oils from the local Pagan lady, etc. Or let’s say she has some wacky love/fetish/taste in something that no one else does: get her that. Find it! Get her an array of things that she wouldn’t normally buy for herself, just to show how well you really know her.

Are you over or under parenting your child?

Friday, June 29th, 2012

 

 

 

Are you over or under parenting your child?

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Personalized Children’s Art Keyring

There have been numerous reports throughout the past century regarding the proper parenting techniques. Is it possible to spoil an infant (under 1 yr.)? (The answer is a resounding no.) But what about when the child gets older…can you smother him/her with parental affection and attention? The answer is a resounding yes.

Askmen.com has a new article discussing this issue. In a recent study, results have shown that fathers who don’t try to hard, end up being better parents. You know, the fathers that like to compete with each other, “Oh Tommy’s better at this…I take him here everyday…” Studies have shown that Little Tommy will grow up better with a less worried and stressed father, than an over-protective one trying to keep up with the Jones’ family.

Yellow Moto GP Racing Bike Cufflinks (Kid-Friendly!)Yellow Motor GP Racing Bike Cufflinks (Kid-Friendly!)

“Coping With New Parenthood”

“The latest research out of Ohio State University, which appears in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, suggests that parents who feel pressure to be perfect parents can work at cross purposes. Called the “New Parents Project,” this study is one part of a longitudinal look at how working parents cope with new parenthood. The researchers studied 182 couples who became parents between 2008 and 2010, and found that external pressure to be perfect parents affects parenting skills differently than self-directed, internal pressure to be a good parent.

The difference was most striking for fathers. If new fathers were particularly worried about living up to the social ideals of their peer group, they tended to do worse than fathers who put the pressure on themselves. Mothers, on the other hand, showed more parental stress no matter where the pressure came from. One other interesting note is that fathers who responded to self-directed, internal pressure and didn’t give a hoot about keeping up with the Joneses tended to be better fathers. The researchers added that they weren’t sure what the long-term effects on parenting this kind of internal pressure would have, but for newborns it can be a good thing”

Dennis the Menace Comic Strip CufflinksDennis the Menace Comic Strip Cufflinks

In a recent article published by Psych Central, By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor, Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on November 30, 2011:

“Parents of newborns show poorer adjustment to their new role if they believe society expects them to be “perfect” moms and dads, a new study shows.

While stress upsets each parent, stress influences each parent in different ways. Moms showed less confidence in their parenting abilities and dads felt more stress when they were more worried about what other people thought about their parenting skills.

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However, self-imposed pressure to be perfect was somewhat better for parents, especially for fathers, according to the results.”

Nauert also claims that “Societal-oriented perfectionism is “being concerned about what other people think about your parenting,” Schoppe-Sullivan said. It was measured by asking people how much they agreed with statements like “Most people always expect me to always be an excellent parent.”

So next time you want to coddle your 12 year old son, think again fathers. The trick is to be stress-free, a mean between extremes, and always keep your cool.

Great Gatsby: Paris Runway Spring 2012

Monday, February 6th, 2012

Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby captured the wealthy Hampton American way of life during the Prohibition era, rich with turn of the century fashion, scandal, and lush parties. While the women took the main spot light for fashion, with their cloche hats, drop skirts, and boyish hair cuts, the men sauntered in the background complementing their new head strong ladies with staple pieces and sharp clean lines. The Great Gatsby, 1974 Film

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Recently, sauntering on the Parisian Runway for Spring 2012, we saw an inspiring come back of the Prohibition Era clothing.

Spring 2012 Great Gatsby LooksSpring 2012 Great Gatsby Looks

Antique Gold Metal Collar Pins, Set of SixAntique Gold Metal Collar Pins, Set of Six

First it comes by way of the woman and inevitably men’s fashion is shaped by it. Take these Three Drop Waisted Looks from Paris’s Spring Fashion Week. Harpers Bazaar reports: “In perfect Calvin Klein fashion, Franciso Costa interpreted the trend through a minimal lens, with an emphasis on easy shapes, light hues and the t-strap shoes of the day. Marc Jacobs wowed with flapper dresses worthy of a modern day Daisy Buchanan, while Ralph Lauren took the most literal approach with drop waist beaded dresses paired with feather cover-ups and pin-striped gangster suits for ladies — ideal for girls who like a 20s vibe but don’t have that boyish shape. It’s perfect ware for Spring fêtes — and hey, at least the cocktails are legal this time.”

Read more: Three Is a Trend: Gatsby’s Got It – Harper’s BAZAAR

Paris Fashion Week, Spring 2012

Rose Gold and Mother of Pearl Cufflinks

GET THE LOOK:

The Great GatsbySince Spring is around the corner (yaaah!), try adding a basic Linen Suit to your wardrobe. Something to wear at a summer wedding, and you can mix and match the pieces. For instance, wear the jacket with basic trousers rolled up at the bottom for a more casual look with nice socks underneath (spend the extra $10 or so). Pair the linen pants with a solid cuffed shirt and bow tie.

Red Ambassador 100% Silk Bow Tie, by Daniel DolceRed Ambassador 100% Silk Bow Tie, by Daniel Dolce

Match it all up with a broken in pair (yet still shined and sleek) of Brogues and top it off with a silk handkerchief.

Robert Redford in The Great Gatsby