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Deciphering the Language of Men

Friday, March 16th, 2012

Just like the elusive language of women, men are not excluded from this phenomenon. However it is markedly different by way of meaning. What Men Really Mean When They Say…

I’m hungry.

What it means?

I’m hungry. Make me food.

Hot Dog CufflinksHot Dog Cufflinks…made out of enamel. Namely, they are not edible.

Hi. I saw you sitting here. What are you drinking?

What it means?

I’m going to buy you one drink, then I’m going to negotiate my chances of seeing you later in hopefully a more comfortable place. Preferably with food.

Corkscrew Cufflinks--not a position, just an accessoryCorkscrew Cufflinks–not a position, just an accessory

I think I’m gonna go watch the game with the boys this weekend.

What it means?

I want to watch the game.

New York Mets Cufflinks and Money Clip SetNew York Mets Cufflinks and Money Clip Set

Feminism killed chivalry.

What it means?

I’m too lazy to put in work to please a woman.

Vintage Pistol CufflinksVintage Pistol Cufflinks

I love your new hair cut honey! And that grey eye shadow goes great with your dress.

What it means?

I’m gay. I’m coming out soon. Sorry, you’ll be the first to know.

 

I don’t get the difference between the Chanel bag and a regular bag? It’s almost fascist to buy one.

What it means?

I just don’t get it. Who makes this Chanel thing? I’m just using fascism to hide my cheapness and the fact that there’s no way in hell I’ll ever spend that much for a sack.

 

The only girls that will be there are other wives and girlfriends. I promise! Don’t worry.

What it means?

I’m hoping to get lucky with one of the wives. But if not, the girlfriends will still be there…

Doctor Slogan CufflinksDoctor Slogan Cufflinks

Trust me…

What it means?

Don’t trust me.

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Honestly…

What it means?

I’m forming a lie in my head as we speak…