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Your Drink Says About You

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

 

What Your Drink Says About You

Bud Light: Follower. Lacks definitive taste. Trouble making decisions . Only acceptable at Frat parties, beer pong, and…that, quite frankly, is it.

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High Life: Settled. Comfortable. A medium between the Bud Light Guy and the Craft Beer. It’s acceptable.

PBR: Low maintenance and will go for anything. Looking for something quick, easy deal, and cheap–maybe even in your women as well. Not cool.

Craft Beer: A man who knows what he wants/someone who is not cheap. Likes to try new things. Adventurous. Beer comes in many variations, styles, and brands. So when a man orders a local/craft beer at a bar, any bar, it shows good taste. There’s almost nothing worse than a man who drinks Natural Light or PBR at a nightclub or restaurant.

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Whiskey, up/on rocks: A man’s man. Rugged. Tough. A confident, no fuss, laid back kind of guy. It’s alright if it’s mixed with a little coke too, but it’s always better if you can handle the scotch/bourbon/whiskey straight up, with no fluff. Sip slowly. Can be followed/mixed with a light or craft beer.

Vodka with mixer: A lady’s man. You’re in the clear. Stay away from too many garnishes (cherries, oranges, limes, etc) and fancy straws. Other than that, you’re good.

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Gin with mixer: An “old world’ kind of guy. Older gentleman. Stuck in the 1930s. Debatable. We’re still trying to figure out who this Gin guy is…

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Martini (vodka): You’re questionable. If it’s a Gin martini, it can be appropriate on a date. A martini, for a gentlemen, is never acceptable at a dive bar or a local restaurant spot. It is okay if you’re at a lounge, an upscale restaurant/bar and are possibly wearing a tie. Seeing a guy in jeans, at a dive bar, drinking a martini with extra olives is just…wrong.

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Wine: Either a Snob or Worldly. Wine is suitable for men on a date under limited circumstances. The first one is you must or should be eating a meal with this wine. White for a fish (white meat, pasta, etc) dish, red for a steak (red meat) dish. It signifies that you are a classy, well-rounded, worldly man who knows how to enjoy his food and get the best out of his meal. It is not, however, recommended that you drink wine alone or order it while sitting at a bar stool, unless you are at a wine tasting. Also, when the cork is presented to you and you are to sample the first sip, do not go overboard on the swishing, gurgling, and aromatic gesturing–it’s just obnoxious, not to mention a major turn off.

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Soda/Coke/Ginger ale alone: You’re a recovered alcoholic, drug addict, reformed party-er. If not, what are you doing at a bar? And more importantly, why don’t you drink? If it’s because of religion, maybe you shouldn’t be a bar in the first place…