Posts Tagged ‘guilty not guilty cufflinks’
1. The Coupons that Say Spend $25 get $10 off., but the Fine Print Reads: (Does not apply to sale items, clearance items, jewelry, cosmetics, handbags, shoes, clothes, watches, men’s wear, children’s wear, home goods, furniture, women’s wear, or anything in the store. Just throw this coupon away. It’s essentially good for nothing)
2. You Ask for…. a gift box and they give you one 10 sizes too large for your purchase. Then they look at you unsympathetically and say “Sorry. We’re out of the smaller ones. Come back next season.” I mean really, what the heck are you going to do with a coat box for a scarf??
3. You go to the mall the DAY after Christmas and the sweater you spent $50 on is now only $15, the video game you bought your son is 20% off, and literally everything you purchased is on sale. And I’m talking about a big sale. There goes another $200 on…markups.
4. You come across that horrible gift Aunt Zelda gave you in JCPenneys and realize it was only $5, marked down to $2. Thanks Aunt Z. Really feeling the love.
How Many of these are you Guitar cufflinks of committing so far?
5. The unbearable hot flashes you get while shopping because you have not just two shirts on, but an under shirt, a heavy pea coat lined with shearling, two pairs of socks, and a hat (which you can’t take off because your hair is an utter disaster). Then you strip down in the store to just one shirt and have to carry it all the rest of the shopping trip. (If you’re a man, you have to hold all of these layers for the lady, including the heavy coat.) Seriously, where are the coat checks??
6. The moment of panic when you’re standing in the middle of a department store and completely forget 1. why you’re there 2. who you’re shopping for 3. what they specifically asked for a few weeks before. You then proceed to the “candle” section because it’s generic enough and everyone needs another Yankee candle.
7. The moment of panic when you’re standing in the middle of a parking lot, strapped with five shopping bags, keys in hand, and completely forget….where you parked the car. So you idly wonder the parking lot, pretending you know exactly where your going, pressing the “alarm” button on the keytag, praying that you’ll hear it or see the flashing lights, smiling all the way so no one knows you forgot where you parked your car, and eventually hit straight panic mode and start running because you realize you’re going senile.