Posts Tagged ‘dennis the menace cufflinks’
Are you over or under parenting your child?
There have been numerous reports throughout the past century regarding the proper parenting techniques. Is it possible to spoil an infant (under 1 yr.)? (The answer is a resounding no.) But what about when the child gets older…can you smother him/her with parental affection and attention? The answer is a resounding yes.
Askmen.com has a new article discussing this issue. In a recent study, results have shown that fathers who don’t try to hard, end up being better parents. You know, the fathers that like to compete with each other, “Oh Tommy’s better at this…I take him here everyday…” Studies have shown that Little Tommy will grow up better with a less worried and stressed father, than an over-protective one trying to keep up with the Jones’ family.
“Coping With New Parenthood”
“The latest research out of Ohio State University, which appears in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, suggests that parents who feel pressure to be perfect parents can work at cross purposes. Called the “New Parents Project,” this study is one part of a longitudinal look at how working parents cope with new parenthood. The researchers studied 182 couples who became parents between 2008 and 2010, and found that external pressure to be perfect parents affects parenting skills differently than self-directed, internal pressure to be a good parent.
The difference was most striking for fathers. If new fathers were particularly worried about living up to the social ideals of their peer group, they tended to do worse than fathers who put the pressure on themselves. Mothers, on the other hand, showed more parental stress no matter where the pressure came from. One other interesting note is that fathers who responded to self-directed, internal pressure and didn’t give a hoot about keeping up with the Joneses tended to be better fathers. The researchers added that they weren’t sure what the long-term effects on parenting this kind of internal pressure would have, but for newborns it can be a good thing”
In a recent article published by Psych Central, By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor, Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on November 30, 2011:
“Parents of newborns show poorer adjustment to their new role if they believe society expects them to be “perfect” moms and dads, a new study shows.
While stress upsets each parent, stress influences each parent in different ways. Moms showed less confidence in their parenting abilities and dads felt more stress when they were more worried about what other people thought about their parenting skills.
However, self-imposed pressure to be perfect was somewhat better for parents, especially for fathers, according to the results.”
Nauert also claims that “Societal-oriented perfectionism is “being concerned about what other people think about your parenting,” Schoppe-Sullivan said. It was measured by asking people how much they agreed with statements like “Most people always expect me to always be an excellent parent.”
So next time you want to coddle your 12 year old son, think again fathers. The trick is to be stress-free, a mean between extremes, and always keep your cool.
I’m so THANKFUL for…(insert adorable dog, mother, son, grandmother who passed 10 years before, my new ipad2, my husband who finally decided to do the dishes, my children for going to bed early, my neighbors for turning down the music, scotch tape for making wrapping presents easier, the dollar store, and finally, for 5 hour energy for helping you make it through the day)
I’m so STRESSED (because of my job, lack of wardrobe materials, iphone was stolen/broken/smashed/fell in the toilet, I can’t find the matching underwear set for Sarah’s American Girl doll collection, my credit card froze, traffic on the way home, there are no more turkeys left at5 the grocery store, your gift card finally ran out from last year’s Christmas, and you still haven’t made plane tickets back “home” for the holidays and it’s Dec. 25th)
Omg we’re having eggnog and roasted chestnuts by the fire (aka we’re drunk, aka we’re having so much fun, aka will probably forget this in the morning, aka you burnt yourself roasting your chestnut but won’t publicly announce that on Facebook, you really don’t like eggnog but drink it anyway because it’s one of those things you’re supposed to do…)
My kids are driving me crazy. Almost done shopping…(your kids drive you crazy every day. it’s just that you only feel like a good parent if you post this three times a year, with the exception of holidays because then you have an excuse to be over stressed and take it out on your kids.)
Yea ______ !!! (insert football team/football player who just scored two seconds before this was posted) (all the random drunken guy friends you have across the United States that are obsessed with their local team and still drink Natty Lite out of a can. Yes a can.)
Look at my early Christmas present!! (insert photo of x-box, ring, bracelet, coach handbag, etc.) ( just another way to brag and show what you think you may be worth in case someone ever asks–you can simply say “Hey I’m worth like 10 coach bags, okay??)
Look at this New Photo of Me, Hubby, Dog, Cat, and our refrigerator… (obnoxious Christmas photos where everyone is looking intoxicated-ly happy and cheerful, wearing their favorite cashmere sweaters and matching pants, aka dysfunctional families trying to pretend normalcy)
But the BEST statuses are those that simply say Merry Christmas (or any affiliated holiday) and Happy New Year! End Status and blog update.
Merry Christmas everyone!! Love, CLM