Posts Tagged ‘car cufflinks’
In case you didn’t know, Askmen.com has it going on, really. Among their amazing articles fit for all eyes male was this golden nugget of truth stashed away in the archives. Thanks Thomas Bey, the Automotive Expert at Askmen.com for this article. This time, what topic was the culprit? What your car says about you.
Think you’re not judged by your ride? Think again!
Here are just a few “connecting judgments” about you and your motorized transportation system. We’ve slightly edited Askmen.com’s original article to get to the direct point (for humor and truth sake of course) and posting below:
Big Guys in Little Cars
It’s more or less like the “fat guy in a little coat” … Just the act of these larger-than-life men getting in or out makes onlookers pause, while an imaginary drum roll plays during the feat, and they all wait with bated breath. Yet once they’re underway, somewhere inside their inner children are having the times of their lives.
The rides: MINI Cooper, Lotus Elise, Mazda Miata, Honda Fit, smart fortwo, and vintage British roadsters.
What’s the difference between actual porcupines and these guys’ rides? A porcupine’s pricks are on the outside. Thank you very much, we’ll be here all week — tip your waitress. That’s a bad joke, but it gets laughs every time. You know who doesn’t laugh? The Porcupines. They think they’ve earned the right to hurry up, tailgate and cut off traffic just so they can slow down and assert their presence on all the lesser motorists, take that oh-so-important call and generally ignore their driving while they dream of the next round of golf or the next opportunity they’ll have to buy something beige.
The rides: Porsche Cayenne, Hummer H2 or any other luxury SUV; also the smug nimrod who drives a BMW, Mercedes or Porsche convertible with the top down and windows up while wearing a hat.
This is a well-represented category…It’s populated by guys who think velocity equals virility. So, with shirts open and gold chains resting on a nest of chest hair, they flaunt what they think they’ve got and cruise for chicks. And they do get noticed. Women everywhere point and smile at them. If the guys weren’t cranking Boston’s Greatest Hits so loudly, they’d realize the ladies were actually laughing.
The rides: Camaro/Firebird, Corvette, Viper, and European exotics that have never had track time.
Two Guys in a Subaru… Wait, Those Aren’t Guys
We’ll be very generous and allow the benefit of the doubt, but it seems like most of the Subarus we see driven by guys are WRXs. As for the Impreza, Outback and Forester wagons, well… sometimes we think we see guys in them, given the flannel and the mullets and whatnot. But then, closer inspection reveals we couldn’t be more wrong. Whoa, sorry, our mistake. Um, we males tend to do that, what with our proclivities toward failure. Ahem. We’ll just move on to the next category. Please don’t hurt us.
The rides: Any model of Subaru wagon or similar small crossover SUV.
For these revelers of the life simplistic, The Nuge is god and Larry the Cable Guy is a kindred soul (even if he does get a little cerebral on ‘em every now and again). They have actually plead, “Git ‘er done” in front of a judge. Like the Two Guys in a Subaru, the mullet is a timeless form of self-expression, although they’ll disagree with the other group on everything else. They also have little to no regard for wildlife, soap, forethought, orthodontics, peace and quiet, condoms, shirt sleeves, sustained sobriety, or climbing the corporate step stool. Their rides are bigger than the trailers they live in — and more expensive.
The rides: Any oversize, sky-high domestic 4×4 pickup that’s bigger, better-equipped and more expensive than the trailer next to it. Mandatory features are a gun rack, sketchy exhaust and any or all of the following stickers: favorite NASCAR driver number, “Fear This,” confederate flag, Calvin peeing on something.
Mom Jeans on Wheels
Apparently, some couples abruptly conclude that breeding marked the zenith of their lives. Nothing to do now but throw on some mom jeans or pleated khakis, white sneakers, buy a neutral-toned anony-mobile and wait to die, like suburban salmon. If that’s you, we offer our condolences and a little advice: In keeping with your kind, make sure the spiffy new car has a DVD player so you can zombify your kids with yet another video, thus continuing to avoid real communication or discipline. If weekend trips to the outlet mall and a chain restaurant are all the enjoyable pizzazz you need to spice up your life, you may as well drive accordingly. When you set the cruise control a little under the speed limit just to be safe, just stay in the right lane, please; the rest of us are attempting to conduct lives, OK?
The rides: Dodge Caravan, Toyota Camry, Chevy Impala. As long as it’s anything that doesn’t make waves — that would be swell.
“Not to be outdone by the Dodge Challenger SRT8, Chevrolet’s hottest Camaro packs a 580-horsepower supercharged V8 shared with the Cadillac CTS-V. It’s said to lap the Nürburgring in 7:41—but considerably more relevant, we suspect, will be how long a patch of rubber this 21st-century pony car will leave in front of your local pizzeria.”
“Buick’s image has been liberated by parent GM’s deep-sixing of Pontiac, Oldsmobile, and Saturn, and by the brand’s runaway success in China. Together, they’ve created the need to occupy greater psychic floor space, so it’s no surprise that the Verano—the smallest Buick in ages—was crafted from the underpinnings of Chevrolet’s best-selling Cruze, or that Buick’s goal was to build a supremely quiet appliance that could help shift its traditional Perry Como-listening customers into something more fuel-efficient without alienating potential younger, hipper customers. With a 250-horsepower turbocharged four-cylinder among the available powerplants, everyone’s image of Buick, not just its own, may have to change.”
Three men to keep an eye on for the New Year…
Supposedly things have been heating up between Lea Michele, Kutcher’s co-star in the new movie “New Year’s Eve.” The two seemed ultra comfortable with each other and full of smiles when they dawned the red carpet together for their premiere. Check out their cheeky smiles. And we can’t help but give a thumbs up to Ashton’s new swaggerific look ever since he brought up with Demi Moore. If you don’t know who Lea Michele is, don’t worry, we didn’t either, but for the record she’s a star on the TV hit series “Glee.” We don’t think they’ll make a perfect match but it’s nice to see two co-workers love each other’s company.
Lea Michele and Ashton Kutcher get cozy. Steve Granitz/WireImage.comSpades Card Suit Cufflinks
But she’s not the only new leading lady in Ashton’s life. US Weekly Reports that “Ashton Kutcher is flaunting a new woman — and sources say he hooked up with her prior to splitting from wife Demi Moore last month. The actor, 33, spent Christmas in Italy with screenwriter Lorene Scafaria — who, until recently, was dating The OC actor Adam Brody.”
“In exclusive Us Weekly photos, the duo were snapped checking out the sights in Italy, including the famous Leaning Tower of Pisa over the Christmas holiday. Meanwhile Moore, 49, kept a low-profile, spending her holidays with family — including daughter Rumer Willis — in Parrot Cay. “She’s doing really well,” a source tells Us. “[She’s] waiting for all of her stuff to come out in the new year [including] her Lifetime show that she’s executive producing.” “Ashton started seeing her while each was in a relationship,” says a source. Reps for both Kutcher and Scafaria deny this and tell Us “They’re just friends.” And it wasn’t the first field trip for the duo — on Dec. 9 and 10, they cozied up at Yellowstone Club ski resort (snowboarding and playing shuffleboard) in Montana. Kutcher’s ex Moore, of course, announced their plans to divorce in late November following his revealed affair with a different woman, 22-year-old Sara Leal, in September.”–US Weekly
The former Disney Star isn’t so baby-fied anymore—and has been seen with the likes of Megan Fox and Carey Mulligan. He has truly blossomed into a masculine heart throb with a killer fashion forward attitude. Check out his photograph on the cover of Design Magazine:These University Of Lowa Hawkeyes Cufflinks are possibly just as hypnotic as Shia himself:
Go Off Road with Shia with these Yellow Off Road Vehicle Cufflinks
….He’s a lot like a young Homer Simpson
And of course, who can forget America’s favorite %&^*)&, Mr. Tosh.0. He only gets away with his controversial jokes because of his astute fashion and good looks, but we still think he’s pretty funny. There is no other strapping young man on television that can make us laugh so hard our cufflinks come undone. He’s truly Comedy Central’s go to man for put downs and below the belt comedy.
|Tosh.0||Tuesdays 10pm / 9c|
|Web Reflection – Season 3 High Points – Uncensored|
1. The Coupons that Say Spend $25 get $10 off., but the Fine Print Reads: (Does not apply to sale items, clearance items, jewelry, cosmetics, handbags, shoes, clothes, watches, men’s wear, children’s wear, home goods, furniture, women’s wear, or anything in the store. Just throw this coupon away. It’s essentially good for nothing)
2. You Ask for…. a gift box and they give you one 10 sizes too large for your purchase. Then they look at you unsympathetically and say “Sorry. We’re out of the smaller ones. Come back next season.” I mean really, what the heck are you going to do with a coat box for a scarf??
3. You go to the mall the DAY after Christmas and the sweater you spent $50 on is now only $15, the video game you bought your son is 20% off, and literally everything you purchased is on sale. And I’m talking about a big sale. There goes another $200 on…markups.
4. You come across that horrible gift Aunt Zelda gave you in JCPenneys and realize it was only $5, marked down to $2. Thanks Aunt Z. Really feeling the love.
How Many of these are you Guitar cufflinks of committing so far?
5. The unbearable hot flashes you get while shopping because you have not just two shirts on, but an under shirt, a heavy pea coat lined with shearling, two pairs of socks, and a hat (which you can’t take off because your hair is an utter disaster). Then you strip down in the store to just one shirt and have to carry it all the rest of the shopping trip. (If you’re a man, you have to hold all of these layers for the lady, including the heavy coat.) Seriously, where are the coat checks??
6. The moment of panic when you’re standing in the middle of a department store and completely forget 1. why you’re there 2. who you’re shopping for 3. what they specifically asked for a few weeks before. You then proceed to the “candle” section because it’s generic enough and everyone needs another Yankee candle.
7. The moment of panic when you’re standing in the middle of a parking lot, strapped with five shopping bags, keys in hand, and completely forget….where you parked the car. So you idly wonder the parking lot, pretending you know exactly where your going, pressing the “alarm” button on the keytag, praying that you’ll hear it or see the flashing lights, smiling all the way so no one knows you forgot where you parked your car, and eventually hit straight panic mode and start running because you realize you’re going senile.
Modern conveniences have done a lot for mankind–but they’ve also taken a lot away from us. Some things are just better…in their original style. There’s something rushed and hurried about our modern appliances and we rarely have time to simply stop and enjoy the process of an activity. This post is an ode to the past, a nod at nostalgia, in hopes that you reincorporate these little treasures into everyday (or monthly) life.
Record Players: the soothing scratches, the jukebox feel, the tiny needle strumming along…music is just there. As opposed to it electronically radiating from a computer speaker, where it was downloaded illegally on some canceled website. Plus records are super cheap now, around .25 cents if you’re lucky. So go visit your neighborhood record store, if it hasn’t been shut down yet.
Herb Crushers: Remember seeing your grandmother crush herbs by hand? Suddenly, and slowly, the kitchen would start to smell of a fresh garden…the churning action at the table, the wooden bowl, the scraping of the crusher. Memories.
Candles vs. light bulbs: the eternal glow of the candle, reading at night, wafting natural light from the other room. Plus mix the scent action and you have one amazing antique invention.
Sponge baths: Sure the invention of the modern shower is great, but the activity of cleaning oneself has been reduced to hurried, frantic motions, instead of the alternative: boiling water on an open stove, mixing it with room temperature water in a big bowl, and bathing yourself “naturally.” Try it not just when the electricity or hot water goes out, but on a random Tuesday. You feel ultra-cleansed afterwards and super relaxed.
Old Fashioned Soda Pops: the shape of the old glass bottle, the candy/general store feel, the cracking open of a metal cap, the real sugar vs corn syrup. Our standards of soda products have decreased over the past twenty years and it’s no surprise that one gets a real treat in an old fashioned Coke or Cream Soda. The bottles can be used as decorations afterwards around the house, by putting fake or real flowers inside.
Pen and Paper: good old fashioned parchment and ink. Ah! Before the type writer, printing press, and obviously computers, people…wait for it…wrote by hand. Normally by candle light at that. Poets would say the Great Muse actually travels from the top of the head, down the arm, and through the hand. Not enough has been said about the laborious joy of free writing and the surprising creativity that can come from it. Plus it won’t hurt if you work on your handwriting a little..