Archive for the ‘Food Cufflinks’ Category
What You Should Never Brag About in Front of Women
Your hunting skills, i.e. how you shot down a deer from a 50 ft range, etc: The idea of dead animals just gives women the creeps and killing innocent little forest runners for the ‘sport’ of it is not only horrifying, but also a big turn off. Leave your ‘gun’ and ‘bambi’ conversation (and pictures!) at the door.
Your fighting skills: True, women love a protector in a partner, someone who will stick up for them in the face of danger, but that does not mean how many guys you’ve drunkenly battled with at bars, how many ‘asses’ you’ve kicked, and how great your upper cut is.
The size of your manhood: Because everyone knows it’s all about how you “carry” yourself, not how you talk about yourself. Don’t even TALK about it, just smirk and let them wonder.
What You Should Brag About in Front of Women
Your cooking skills: It diminishes the negative line of gender role exclusivity and shows that you are comfortable working in the kitchen. It also shows your love of sating/providing for others in new ways. Let’s face it, you don’t go out to hunt for food anymore (as a society, we’re passed that, at least in certain ways), so why not tackle that chicken in the kitchen, sauté it in your grandmother’s sauce, and don’t forget the garnishes.
Your strong magic fingers (for massage purposes of course!): It will implant the idea of skin/touching/feeling in her mind, which inevitably leads to other strains of thought. Plus it’s always a ‘plus’ when you can administer a great massage with your strong hands.
Your grandmother: It shows that you appreciate the women in your life and honor their presence, even if they are no longer around. It shows respect, reverence, and an ultra sweet side that women love to witness. Plus women get all warm inside when you discuss other your admiration for your old grannie, and for bonus points, how much you love your precious little niece can also be thrown into the mix.
So it’s already Tuesday and you suddenly realize that you have…$40 to your name. How can you go out, enjoy yourself for a whole day, whilst only using $20? (The other $20 will be used “in case of emergency” kind of thing, because, responsible people do those kinds of things).
How to Live on $20 a Day
What you’ll need:
An Open Mind
And of course, $20
Lunch specials are your friend. You know how you go to get sushi after 5pm and the hand rolls double in price? What about Thai food, like your favorite Pad Thai, goes from $7 at lunch time to $14.50 in the evening? Well guess what? It’s the same food. So take advantage of the “lunch time specials,” where you can get your favorite meal for under $10 usually. Favorite Lunch Meal: $7 (average) plus $3 tip= $10
Trip to the Metropolitian Museum of Art. Did you know there are centuries of art stored in this one musueum? Go! Take advantage! Wonder around for at least two hours, sit in front of at least ONE painting for at least FIVE minutes, meditate, and do not talk to anyone. You’re here for your “almost” free art and you need to get your $1 worth. Price based on Donations and today you’re really broke, so: $1
Two Cups of Coffee, one by yourself and then another with a friend. The good thing about Starbucks, other than their supposed humane ways of harvesting coffee, is that you can get a refill for only .50 cents. So that means get a Tall Coffee for $2.01, drink it alone while surfing the web/working/reading casually/soaking in surroundings/eavesdropping on conversations/ogling the barista/whatever you do when you drink your coffee kind of thing…and then keep the cup. Put it in your bag if you have to! Then after your trip to the museum, invite a friend for some more joe, and sit and chat out your experience of the art. Total Cost for Two Cups of Coffee: $2.51
Thrift Store Diving.The catch is, you can only spend $5. This can be used on old records, a thermos, a new backpack, three orange tee shirts, and more. Think creatively–how far can you stretch your $5? Total Cost for Something Unique/Strange/Wonderful: $5.
Watch an outdoor game. Look up on your trusty iphone any local games in your area. Even if they’re little league kind of games, go to the bleachers and root for your favorite color! (Will it be the purple team or the yellow?). No, we’re not saying be that creepy guy in the stands watching 5-year-olds play tee ball, but find a high school game somewhere, an advanced baseball league for teens, and watch them show you up with their stellar curve ball. Free Outdoor Game: $0 (Free!)
After you’ve been watching people younger than you own the court/field/park, maybe it’s time to do some exercise of your own. After all, you have had two cups of coffee…so you’re kind of pumped, right? Good. Now get to your nearest park with a view and do something creatively fun that you’ve never done before. This could be mixed martial arts, yoga, running (!), jogging, total body workouts in the grass…but make sure you get a bottle of water while you’re there. We don’t want you passing out from dehydration now. Exercise in the Park + Bottle of Water+ a post-work out hot dog with sauerkraut: $3.50
Okay, so if you have any sense in math, you’ll realize we’ve gone over budget by $2. Oh well! Eliminate the hotdog if you want, but we promise you’ll have a complete, pre-fall “self indulgent” day for only $20.
Cool Things to Do TODAY
Create a happy new playlist on itunes. A mixture of slow jams and dance music to take you on a nostalgic ride.
Download at least one song from your childhood. And make it a good one, like something from an 80s film. Or better yet, go out and buy the vinyl album to really take you back.
Clean your bathroom–sounds not so tempting, right? But afterwards, you’ll feel good about yourself and home, knowing that you have a clean place to get clean in.
Call an old friend whom you haven’t spoken with in over one year. That’s right, pick up the phone. Re-kindle…and that’s not a new amazon product.
Give yourself a manicure (even if you’re a gentlemen). This doesn’t mean break out the clear polish men, but sit on the sofa with a file and clippers, and clean up those hands. They are the “second” things people see when they first meet you, after your face of course. It’s good to have freshly groomed hands always, unless you’re a car mechanic who relishes in the grease all day.
Break out the dusty blender in the kitchen and make a fruit smoothie. Add a little extra to it, like cocoa powder for extra “comfort.” It’s healthy, energizing, and is a great substitute for a fast food meal.
Add a drop of whiskey to your coffee. Just because it’s Thursday.
Visit the humane society and play with the dogs. All dogs go to heaven they say and they remember you for coming to play with them. These little guys and gals rarely get extra love and attention, so why not take a trip to your local shelter and give a couple of canines rub downs.
Smile at a stranger. Just one…or ten. Enough so that people still know you’re normal and not some creepy stalker guy ogling all the innocent bystanders. Kind of like it pass it forward kind of smile…not bozo the clown kind of smile.
Do 25 crunches. Hey, we’re not saying to 100. 25 will get those muscles working just enough to set off some happy endorphines in your brain and maybe even motivate you to do more.
Things to try this season: Fashion Stripes with something not striped (i.e. a striped blue and white shirt with solid bright pants/capris, or with another type of print that stands out.) No socks and loafers.
Why not try a pair of green funky glasses for spring?
Funky sunglasses. Let’s face it, you can always take them off. That’s one of the best things about subglasses as a spring fashion accessory. It’s cool to look cool for a bit, and then switch to the “normal” you in a matter of seconds. Why not try a new color/shape/style? If aviators are your norm, try a pair of larger plastic frames, maybe in a light shade of green. Love Experiment, but not too much. Dating tip for men: dinner/coffee/cocktail/anything on the water is good for a date.
Money It’s okay to splurge a little on new clothes and accessories at the beginning of every season. Just make sure you keep it basic. You have the rest of the season to get the more expensive, ultra-trendy stuff—so for now just keep it simple: plain tees, light fabrics, basic colors, shorts, sandals/loafers/spring shoes. Sex Hands are important. They don’t get enough credit in the romance world. Touch is one of the five senses, so don’t forget to use it every way.
Are you a Prince or a Frog? Kiss him and find out.
If it’s not in the kiss, it won’t be anywhere else either. That’s all. To Do Go running on a spring day. If your not a big runner, just try it. You may get to really like it, especially if you have a river close by.
Get gelato. Like tomorrow for lunch, maybe. Pay for the person behind you in line. At a drive thru? Pay for the person behind you’s meal. Make it a pay it forward kind of day. Make a smoothie for breakfast. It’s yummy, you can carry it on the go, and it will make you happy. end of story.
The Shame Circle Story Number One: This “party of six” refused to pay the 17% gratuity added to their dinner check. It clearly stated on the menu that any party of five or more would have this gratuity attached–so what did the restaurant do to these low-brow, “I don’t want to tip” folks? Called the police. And they paid. Good for your Fishermen’s Inn! Let this be a lesson, dear patrons, never, ever go into a restaurant and not tip your server.
See the ridiculous fiasco by clicking on the below: Family Locked in Restaurant After Refusing to Pay Tip Number two: Hehe, only in New Jersey: This orange–ehm tan woman from New Jersey thought it would be a good idea to take her little girl to the…tanning bed. Too much Jersey Shore, perhaps? But the mother, accused of child endangerment, says that her daughter only goes into the room with her and plays, she doesn’t actually get in the tanning bed.
Family locked in restaurant after refusing to… by anatims70
Hilarious Quote of the Week: “I’m in the booth, she’s outside playing Princess, trying to be like Mommy, like barbie dolls and stuff like that.”
I’m sorry lady, Princess…? Barbie dolls like…mommy? Oh goodness, we love strange news.
Orange ya glad you don’t look like this?
Number Three, Shame on you Kya! On April 26th, the family of an adorable little toddler, captured the following footage of a lioness trying to eat their toddler. Luckily, there was a thick, pane glass window separating the pair but watch as the lioness tries to engulf the baby’s head in her mouth. Must have been the zebra sweatshirt. See, hoodies are controversial even in the animal kingdom world!