Archive for July 30th, 2012
Guest Speaker: Lady Speaks A lot
Some of our favorite CLM patrons have been writing to us asking about a list of “ core rules every gentleman should follow.” Is there anything that every cosmopolitan man should know? Has he been left in the dark about anything while the women of the world are conspiring against him? Any core list of rules that he may or may not be aware of, for which the universe cries, “contend to this!” So we thought we’d take a little break from fashion and the likes, just to bring it back to earth for you. Our guest speaker, Lady Speaks A lot, is a middle aged New Yorker living on the Upper East Side, bent on the following rules. Her motto? “The glass is always half spilled. Normally on my new white dress.” Favorite Motivational speaker? Nietzsche. You get the picture…
Advice Fit for the Classy Gentlemen
1. Always well dress up and wear some Superhero cufflink because women’s like superheros, and than get up for a lady on a train/bus/any mass transit. If you are healthy and capable, it’s time to get up. Yes, you! Get UP!
2. Ask women out to dinner. Sound complicated, right? Men have been doing it for decades! No, we don’t want to watch a movie at home with you, or just “hang out,” or meet at your boys’ house, or get completely wasted together. How about start with a simple, nice…dinner.
3. Make a decision. Whether it’s to put $5 or $15 in the gas tank, cross on 92nd or 95th, Indian or Chinese, Black dress or green one, help us help you…make a decision. Please don’t have us stand there at the convenience store for fifteen minutes while you decide on which kind of gum you want…it’s embarrassing.
4. Never, ever, ask the bartender what you should be drinking for the evening. Just order. Vodka or rum. Beer or gin. If you can’t decide what to drink for the night, how can we trust you to decide on future house decorations and future children names?
5. Know the original authors of “misshapen forms of well-seeming chaos” and “that which does not kill us makes us stronger.” And here’s a hint: they’re not singers.
6. Know how your lady likes her coffee. Ask once. And remember it always. Don’t ask every time you get up to make her a pot.
7. Have a license. If a man can’t drive, well…a man can’t drive.*
8. Have at least one subscription to something. We don’t really know why this is important, but it is. Even if it’s Playboy, just order something read-able. Well, actually, no, Playboy isn’t acceptable either. Try the Economist or New York Times for starters.
9. Don’t drink out of a straw. Ever.
10. Be Kind, Rewind. This also includes Netflix movies, Premium movies on Demand, etc. Because, sometimes you just have to rewind.
*Some of you at home may be wondering what’s the deal with number seven. It is actually quite a problem in some parts of the world…like New York.